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3. Some Useful Habits of a Leader. Part 3

7. Fight Your Fears

  

What is fear? Why does it arise? Fear is a normal response of the organism to suspected adverse events. In other words, you begin feeling fear every time an upcoming event may cause harm to you, either direct or indirect. The question is whether you let that feeling run its course and give in or start working on it? I insist that a complete lack of fear is impossible. That is, if somebody tells you that he has no fear at all, for example when standing before a running train, it rather points to some psychiatric deviation and absence of the sense of self-preservation. In all other cases, there is fear, and we either use it correctly as a stimulus, forcing us to move and make some decision (“to fight”) or give in to a negative response to that irritant – “fight” or “flight.”

 

It is by dealing with fear, when we realize it and start acting to prevent negative events, that I call “fighting against fears.” Learn how to “catch” fear and understand what to do to make it less dreadful.

 

8. Remember All

 

The ability to remember all is a very good thing, especially when we are speaking about our work and relationships with people. But most people do not have phenomenal memory and cannot keep all the information they receive forever. What should you do then – fail to remember and forget it? Not at all. I suggest considering this ability in the context of habits. We can’t remember everything, so why not use new technologies and store information on external media. Make it a habit to write down all the information you receive. Devise a system that will help you “remember all.” Keep daily plans, long-term plans, notes on people around you (their names, birthdays, key points); keep development plans and notes on your employees’ performance appraisal... Such system should be not exuberant but easy to work with. The main thing is to become accustomed to using it for storing and retrieving necessary information.

 

 

9. Prefer Active Leisure to Coach Potato Style

 

What do you usually do when you have some free time? Sit on the sofa and watch TV? Or you put on your clothes and go out for a walk? If there are two alternatives – standing or movement, I’d recommend choosing movement. I’m not going to tell you how useful it is to move, especially in case of sedentary work – this is another topic. I want to settle on another aspect. Why, whenever you have a free moment, do you want to dig into your phone and social media? First, because our brain seeks comfort – we know everything there, it is something habitual and not binding, unlike work. And second, it is a habit of getting reward. Let me explain what I mean. Have you ever noticed how children are fascinated by endlessly digging into media feed, sometimes clicking links? At the same time, to get a child into doing something like drawing or modeling, you have to spark the interest in the child. And sometimes not only to spark the interest but to perform a “ritual of getting interested.”

 

In the human brain there is a pattern called “permanent reward.” While surfing web pages or browsing the news feed, your brain gets confirmation of the action with each new picture, and pleasure from this confirmation. Swiped the feed – get a new picture, oh it’s interesting. Double clicked – get a YouTube video, relax and watch the “reward.” The chain – stimulus-pleasure – is very short. And now imagine a construction set, you need a couple of hours or even half a day to get some result and enjoy it... Moreover, the time of enjoyment may be relatively short as compared to the efforts spent. The same thing happens when you try to get yourself to go walking. Your brain figures out how soon it will get the pleasure. And what if it's raining? And what if it’s too hot? So it turns out that the brain takes the lead. If you regularly take yourself out of the comfort zone to which the brain leads you, it will adapt to the impossibility of hiding out, and get used to finding pleasant moments in walking... In other words, you’ll get a habit of being a “get-up-and-go” person.

 

10. Praise/Thank People

 

Praise and thank sincerely, without the expectation of something in return. Not only for something substantial done for you. Just for everything! Ultimately for their being with you today, for a quick response in communication, for their criticism on some issue.

 

Everything you give will pay back one way or another. You can say that it’s a kind of philosophy, and not all people share it. But let’s look at it from another perspective. What do you feel about people who thank you for some small things? Say, for replying to a letter in time, or just for replying it. They thank you sincerely because they waited for your reply and you replied. You think this is an agreeable person, easy to communicate with. And I’m 100% sure that you will want to communicate with such a person in future. That’s what the philosophy is about...

 

These are the 10 habits that will help you achieve new heights and become a true leader. It’s now always easy to build, but I believe that when you introduce at least half of them into your day-to-day activities, the quality of your leadership will noticeably improve. Add the habits one by one, reinforce each, and once you realize that it goes smoothly, take the next one.